I Love You This Much
by SketchyCord
Summary: A one shot set during the Summer of 04. Summer and Marissa are helplessly infatuated with their ex-boyfriends. If people like it enough, a part two about Ryan and Seth's feelings will be added. SS RM
1. Summer&Marissa

**I Love You...This Much**

[Just a quick one shot I thought of. I know it's not great, but reviews are welcome. I might even do a companion piece about the boys if people want. I don't own the OC, I only own some DVDs.

"Hey Coop, can you come over, like stat?" Summer asked her best friend, as she choked on her tears. She tried not to let her tears splatter all over her phone, with no luck.

"Yeah, definitely, just a minute," Marissa answered into the phone. "I'll be there...right now...quickly, Sum." And then Marissa hung up. She weaved through the halls of Caleb's mansion and ran out the door. It was July 3rd, 2004. And Marissa's best friend had been crying over Seth Cohen for a month or so now.

"Summer! Summer...where are you?" Marissa yelled as she walked into the house.

"I'm up h-here!" Summer called back. She rolled over onto her pillow and continued sobbing freely.

"Oh honey...I'm so sorry," Marissa said to her friend as she tenderly stroked her back.

"I m-miss Cohen...and all I can do is keep reading his god damn note," Summer whined.

"Have you spoken to him today," Marissa asked quietly.

"Oh...um...no...I wanted to hear his voice, though, so I listened to the message...and he said he loves me. But if he loves me, why isn't he here?" Summer sobbed incessantly.

"He'll come back to you Summer. He _does _love you," Marissa said.

"He just loves R-ryan more," Summer mumbled into her friends shoulder. Marissa stiffened, and a tear traveled down her cheek.

"They're best friends," Marissa said slowly. It was like the mere mention of Ryan's name made her unable to process new thoughts.

"I'm sorry for mentioning him." Summer told her friend sincerely.

"It's ok. You didn't mean to," Marissa reasoned. She didn't want her friend to feel any worse.

"Marissa, I want you to read his note," Summer said slowly. She was the only person in the world who she would _ever _allow to read that note. It was her most prized possession, not because she liked what it had to say, but because _he _had given it to her. And that made it something of great value in Summer's eyes.

_Dearest Summer, _

_I love you. And even though I'm leaving now, I want you to know that it doesn't mean I don't love you, because I do. And when I look at the night sky, I'll think of you. And I don't expect you to think of me, and I don't even know if I want you to. But I want you to know that I will always think of you, because I can't help it. And I'm glad that the months that we shared belong to you and to me, and no one else. And if you want to wait for me, then you can, but if you don't, I'll understand that to. Because you're the most beautiful memory I can ask for, and no matter how much you may grow to hate me, I will always love you. _

_–Seth Cohen _

"Coop, god...I mean, look at what he wrote. I've never felt this way before," Summer cried, clutching her heart. "My chest...burns," she said. "What does it mean?"

"Sum, I think you know what it means," Marissa said.

"I l-love him. I love Seth Cohen. I love him!" Summer began sobbing again promptly. She fell backwards onto her pillows.

"I love Ryan Atwood," Marissa sighed as she fell back next to Summer.

"I hate them both," Summer muttered.

"I hate them too," Marissa agreed.

Summer turned to face her best friend, her one true confidante. "I want him. I want his curly hair, and his Penguin polos...and his scuffed up Converse. I want him so badly, and I can't have him," Summer whispered to Marissa.

"I miss Ryan so much. I miss his wife beaters, and his wrist cuffs, and the way he used to whisper 'Marissa,' in my ear every night when we went to sleep together," Marissa whispered in anguish.

"I love him, and he'll never know."

"I miss him...but he'll never come back. He'll stay in Chino forever."

"I dressed up as Wonder Woman."

"I made out with him on a ferris wheel."

"I lost my virginity to him."

"Omigod? Really?!" Marissa inquired in surprise.

"Yeah. Not that it really matters now," Summer sighed.

"Bastard," Marissa seethed.

"I _wanted _to loose mine to him, but he made out with Caleb's girlfriend instead..." Marissa muttered.

"Woah!" Summer cried.

"Yup. Not that it really matters now," Marissa mumbled.

"Son of a bitch," Summer grimaced.

"I hate Cohen. But I hate myself more, because I would take him back right now if I could," Summer grumbled in annoyance.

"Same," Marissa sighed.

"I don't even need a coffee cart to say it on. I just love him...that much," Summer groaned.


	2. Seth&Ryan

**Lost **

[So, some people asked for a second part to this, and I am now...posting it! Enjoy, but be warned, I had a VERY tough time with this, I think I was more tapped in with Summer/Marissa because they're girls and I get it, lol, so be warned.

Ryan and Seth were in Portland, hanging out in Seth's room there. They'd gotten their first minute alone, because Luke and his dad had gone out.

"So, what's up?" Ryan asked. Seth looked up from his note pad.

"Uh...nothing, nothing at all," Seth said as he concentrated on his drawing.

"What is that?" Ryan inquired. No response, so he just gently pried the note pad out of his brother's fingers. He looked at the incredibly detailed drawings of Summer. "Woah..." he trailed off, not really knowing what else to say.

"Yeah...I know it's a little creepy," Seth muttered.

"Is this whole thing full of them?" Ryan asked.

"No, that's a new one. There's all of this too," Seth said, reaching under the bed and pulling out a box full of identical black note books.

"Ok. You've missed Summer a hell of a lot," Ryan stated.

"Kind of...yeah," Seth replied, leaning back on the bed.

"Have you spoken with her lately?" Ryan asked.

"No...well, everyday, I leave another message...but lately...no," Seth said sadly.

"So...you don't know anything about Marissa?" Ryan asked, that last part coming out a bit choked, kind of like M-ar-issa.

"No...I wish I did...I would call her but...well, the last time I did," Seth started, but Ryan cut him off.

"You spoke with her? When..." Ryan said, trying not to sound too eager.

"About a month ago...she just told me I should feel horrid about leaving Summer and our parents, and then she changed tone and she sounded all...sad...and she said she missed us _both _and wanted to see us soon," Seth answered.

"She...Marissa...I..." Ryan stuttered.

"I love Summer, too, so don't feel awkward or anything about it. I don't think you're crazy," said Seth matter of factly

"Good, because a lot of people...you know...being 16 and all, they would judge, but not you, you understand," Ryan said. A wave of appreciation for his brother washed over him.

"Completely." Seth stated.

"So...you love her man? Does she...does she know?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah but...I wish I had told her in person. You told her in person. Count yourself lucky. And you know she loves you, I don't know if...Summer...you know..." Seth said wistfully.

"I want to tell her now...again...but I think if I–if I went back...she wouldn't want me," Ryan said. This was probably the most he'd ever spoken about his emotions to anyone, it was pretty hard for him. But the both of them needed to feel less alone.

"Summer won't want me, either." Seth replied.

"I wouldn't be so sure, I mean, you didn't leave her for your pregnant ex-girlfriend," Ryan said.

"Yeah, I just left because I couldn't imagine not having you around," Seth replied.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't...Oh, I dunno..." Ryan tried to come up with something to say, the right words, but he couldn't find them.

"We. Are. Screwed."

"Yeah."

"I just love her...so much...but if I were her...I would hate me with a fiery passion," Seth sighed.

"I really wish I had taken a picture of her..." Ryan mumbled.

"A picture, hmm," Seth muttered. He began drawing furiously on a new sheet of paper.

"What're you...oh..." Ryan said as Seth handed him a sketch of Marissa as Cosmo Girl. "This..."

"Stays between us. As does everything else we've discussed today, especially the drawings of Summer, because...well...she'd be really weirded out," Seth interrupted.

"Right," Ryan replied.

"I don't even need a coffee cart...I just love her, this much," Seth declared.


End file.
